Low Self Esteem

Low Self Esteem

Self esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves, and when it is low, we see ourselves and our lives in a negative way. It often begins in childhood when our self-perception is developing and life events, such as unloving parents, unkind peers, sexual or emotional abuse etc., may make us feel worthless or undeserving. An occasional lack of self confidence is normal but when it is low for much of the time, it can affect our self esteem, which can lead to anxiety and depression.

If you have low self esteem, you may:


  • feel that you are a bad person or not as good as others
  • have an inability to accept compliments
  • neglect yourself or treat yourself badly because ‘you are not worth it’
  • socially withdraw
  • have a severe lack of self confidence
  • expect little out of life
  • not trust your own opinions
  • seek acceptance from others
  • put others before yourself
  • feel ugly, stupid, bad or even evil
  • blame yourself and accentuate the negatives
  • have intrusive thoughts

Low self esteem is always a misperception, because if you really are as bad a person as you think, you are just seeing yourself accurately! Having low self esteem is a state of mind, which means that it can be changed, and I will use various techniques and practical approaches to help you.

How can I help with your low self esteem?


I find that talking therapies are a large part of the therapy process. I use various techniques and psychological approaches to help you, including evidence-based theories such as Person Centred counselling, the Human Givens, Transactional Analysis, NLP, Human Toolbox™, deep relaxation, hypnotherapy and thought field therapy. I prefer to use a solution-focused rather than problem-focused approach, which builds on positive feelings rather than reinforcing negative ones.

I understand how overwhelming talking therapies can be for my clients, and my aim is to make you feel at ease with me. I will gently encourage you to tell me your ‘story’, but only when you feel ready and will not make you share anything that you don’t want to. I like to think that my ‘superpower’ is making our sessions feel like we are just having a chat! 

I work in my peaceful garden therapy room, at my home in Norwich, Norfolk, where I hope you will feel safe and secure enough to be able to talk about the issues that are distressing you, and feel at ease sharing your problems with me.

You will find more information about me and the techniques I use on other pages of my website.

If you think you are too small to make a difference, you haven’t spent the night with a mosquito!

African proverb quoted by the Dalai Lama